Cha.. cha.. cha... Changes...

Life rarely stands still.. but this year has been full of change for Yours Truely.  For someone who is much more comfortable on solid land... wallowing in a well-worn rut... it's been a challenge to keep my equilibrium in the midst of the swirling seas.

3 years of spending all my free time working for The Boy's marching band as both a parent and member of the board.... starting and maintaining the website..... setting up a volunteer database.... running fundraisers.... playing band photographer.....  
           Done and over.  Website re-written... database tossed.... no more weekends devoted to band... no trace that I was there....

12 years of The Boy's schooling.... watching him take those first steps away from me into the wider world.... pulling my hair out over last minute projects.... helping him struggling with homework....  cringing at his sometimes embarrassing antics... proudly watching him grow....
           Done and over.  The Boy graduated.... not with honors... but with his dignity intact and a college acceptance in hand....

18 years of playing mother.... and father... the ultimate dicotomy... either kiss away hurts or tell him to suck it up.... showing him how to do his own laundry and how to throw the football in a tight spiral.... teaching him to hold the door open for others and to stand up for yourself.... advising him on work and on women...
           Done and over. The Boy's moved out... stretching out his wings... hesitantly poised on the verge of manhood....
33 years of smoking... sneaking dad's non-filtered Pall Malls cause mom counts hers.... slipping into the restroom of the middle school for a smoke break... loving the habit.... knowing it's killing me... coughing so much it scares me... never wanting to quit....
          Done and over.  Discovering electronic cigarettes.... finding that I've quit without trying.... breathing easily again...
So many changes.  I'll admit I became a bit depressed coping with it all.... my agoraphobia kicked in again as well... but life goes on.... and this too shall pass... is passing.  Friends have stepped in, dragging me out of my cacoon, fussing at me about being the lone Wolf for too long.  I am working on it... as best I can.  Getting used to the empty nest... getting out some.... discovering that I don't want to be alone.... and working on that too.

Change is as inevitable as the wind... blowing through our lives. Hopefully this year's winds of change sail me in a good direction.

Remember me?

Welcome back, Dear Reader... and my sincere apologies for keeping you waiting.  I've spent the last few days practicing my deep breathing... gathering my courage to jump back into the blogsphere once again.  It's been awhile... so let's catch up some, shall we....

The Boy has gone off to college... about 10 minutes down the road.  He's enjoying his freedom and seems to actually be attending class.  Once a week I get a call asking if I'd like to go to dinner and catch up.  (Translation for the childless:  Feed me and bring cash)  At least he holds up his end of the bargain by regaling me with tales of college life... like how they discovered neither one packed a can opener.  I understand his pool game is improving too.

Brother1 has finally moved out of G-Ma's house.  He was able to obtain a three bedroom goverment subsidized apartment once he convinced his ex to sign papers granting him half custody of his kids.  Since then his kids decided they'd rather not move in, he's lost yet another job, and G-Ma's starting to get concerned that he'll be moving back in before the holidays.  Don't know what he's going to do with the leopard skin couch and matching chair if he loses the place.  Such a shame.

Brother2 recieved a summons the other day naming him in a paternity suit.  He helpfully explained to the officer that maybe they had the wrong person.... after all he has a twin... and a cousin with the same name... and he didn't even recognise the gal's name.  He's since placed a face on the name and is now just keeping his fingers crossed. 

G-Ma has been staying busy between volunteering with the Red Cross, taking Brother1 and kids on vacation, and fumigating her place.  Seems Brother2 found a wonderful used couch for his apartment... infested with bed bugs.  Eventually he brought enough of them over to G-Ma's to start an outpost there.  *shudder*  We've kept visits with G-Ma limited to day-trips lately.  She's making headway against them though... hopefully.

And what of Yours Truely?... well as you'll recall I switched from cigarettes to an electronic cigarette back in Febuary.  Since then I've been quite active in the forum community and helped start an e-cig group in our state.  We get together once or twice a month to visit, share new flavors, and have fun.  Since The Boy has moved out, I've been battling a bit of depression and a slight resergance of agoraphobia.  Makes each of these get togethers it's own little victory.   Meanwhile, some friends have begun fussing at me for being such a "lone wolf".  One buddy of mine recently declared that he'd be my wing man... he's sure his wife won't mind.

That brings you up to speed a bit at least.  Promise we'll chat again real soon, Dear Reader....

The Milestone of Matriculation

Well, The Boy and The GF have finally matriculated.  They are currently in that starry-eyed limbo between high school and college... between PlayStation and summer jobs.  Yours Truely and G-Ma are just beginning to recover after having sat through two ceremonies... in a row.  Thankfully, The GF's mother surprised us all with a celebratory cake inbetween, which gave us enough of a sugar surge to deal with the next round of speeches.  You could tell how excited The Boy was.  All you had to do was watch him spring to his feet when they asked the graduating class to rise.  You'd of thought someone stuck him with a pin the way he popped out of that chair!

Today The Boy struggled through the obligatory Thank You cards that follow graduation giving.  Of course, family rules of etiquette had to be hammered out first...

"No, you don't have to send a card to Brother1 for the 'I took an IQ test... and it came back negative' ballcap that he sent along with G-Ma.  You should, however, mention it in your card to G-Ma. This will assist in keeping the level of negativity at G-Ma's house to a minimum. 

No, you don't have to send a card to Brother2 for the Graduation 'Smiley' he texted to you. A simple 'ty' should suffice. Please send the "ty" now, however, as he's already texted me several times to ensure you did indeed receive his "gift".

Please write legibly... in complete sentences.  Each card must include more then "Thank you for the money.  Sincerely..."  You must include at least one sentence about how this gift will help with college purchases.  Again, legibly... other people should be able to decipher the message... without requiring a translator."

After looking over the completed cards, The Boy and I had a discussion on the importance of handwriting in a technical society.  He insists that keyboarding skills are all that one needs in this day and age.  Meanwhile, I'm trying to resist the temptation to re-write a few of the (non-family) cards myself... especially those to co-workers.  The fact that each is identical should speed the job along, though. 

Happy Mother's Day!

This year will break a long standing Mother's Day tradition for Yours Truly and The Boy.  For the past ten years we've out for a movie and dinner for Mother's Day.  Today though I volunteered with his high school band to work the concession stands at the local minor league ballpark.  So we'll be spending the majority of our Mother's Day serving up hot dogs and drinks to the locals.  Thankfully it's supposed to be a beautiful day for a ballgame!

While I don't mind giving up my Mother's Day for the cause, I was feeling a little guilty until I found out that G-Ma wasn't going to be home on Mother's Day either.  She's off on her own volunteer adventure with the Red Cross helping out tornado victims.  I completely forgot the time difference there and accidentally woke her up to wish her a Happy Mother's Day this morning.  Felt even worse about the time when she told me they'd given them a half-day off today in celebration.  Sorry, Mom!

I had to send G-Ma a picture of The Boy and the GF all dressed up for their senior prom.  It's hard to believe how quickly time flys when you have a child!  Any mother can tell you to savor all these moments while you can.  The Boy and GF let it drop this weekend that they are considering moving away to a college out of state in a couple of years to support her choice in majors.  Ok... so marine biology is best studied near a body of water, but she could change her plans by then... right?  Guess I'll just have to take a few deep breaths and get ready for that inevitable point when all children develop an autonomous life.  He'll soon be waking me up with a long-distance call just to make sure I know he's thinking of me on Mother's Day.  Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy his company as long as I can.

Off to the park!  Have a glorious Mother's Day however you spend it!

Miracle of the Olympic Spirit

"The important thing is not to win, but to take part" - Pierre de Coubertin, IOC Founder

The Olympic spirit is alive and well in our household.  We've delighted in the opening ceremony, held our breath through close calls and falls, exclaimed aloud at amazing feats, cheered on our favorites, and reminisced on past Olympics. 

Since ancient times, the Olympics were a time of truce amongst nations.  This year's Olympic experience has brought it's own renewed sense of peace and sharing into our lives.... Just in time to spare The Boy from himself.

Beginning just a week or so before his 18th birthday, The Boy literally lost his mind.  Everything became an argument... any remark a point of contention... any question met with a curt "that's not your problem any more."  In short, I was beginning to debate the pros and cons of retroactive abortion. 

The real breaking point came when I received a call at work from an irate parent about a derogatory comment that The Boy had posted online.  While The Boy insisted that he couldn't understand what all the fuss was about, he did remove the comment and apologize to the person in question.  As a result, he was grounded on his 18th birthday with his cell phone, computer, and iPod confiscated.  This, of course, lead to our small apartment becoming a veritable battleground with heated debate over whether I had the right to impose such penalties now that he'd come of age.  Much to my anguish, the words "there's the door" came up more then once.  Over the next several weeks, we progressed into a stony silence broken only if absolutely required.  I'd begun to despair that our relationship would ever be quite the same again.

Then came the Olympics.  The Boy decided, rather then holing up in his room, he'd venture out to watch with me.  Before you knew it, we were holding civil conversations again.  We were able to find a common ground over competition. 

We watched Shaun White take the gold in snowboarding and talked about how star-struck The Boy had been when he gotten Shaun's autograph on his skateboard a few years back during the Dew Tour.  He couldn't even stammer a response when Shaun had commented that he used to have the same Tony Hawk Birdhouse design. 

We laughed remembering how his friend who'd joined us at that Dew Tour had laid down right in front of the Mad Magazine stand like he was taking a nap while waiting on The Boy to get a caricature drawn.  The guy manning the stand had lined his body with Mad Magazines in a strange crime scene parody.  I've got a picture somewhere of a midget little person leaning over to see if this was some publicity stunt dummy.  Strange child, but a hilarious moment!

Then it happened... The Boy apologized for being so hard-headed and asked if we could put it all behind us.  Take about relief!  Since then The Boy has regained his common sense and settled back down into his usual, easy-going self... always ready with a grin and a funny quip to brighten the day.

So, Dear Reader, forgive me for updating sporadically of late... I've been too busy enjoying having The Boy back.  Who knew the healing power of the Olympic spirit could effect such a miracle!

Coming of Age

January 8th... It's the anniversary of Elvis's birthday.  On this day in 1992, while every television channel replayed George Bush (the first one) becoming violently ill in Japan... fainting into the Prime Minister's lap over and over, The Boy descended upon the world and life was never the same again in my household.

Today The Boy is 18 and I'm feeling like reminiscing a bit.  Come along with me as I share just a few of my favorite stories on The Boy in honor of his special day...

3 yrs old - An ex of mine was trying to get The Boy's attention... and trying... and trying.  The Boy finally looks up and says "Shhhhhh!  I'm contemplating!"  After picking up our jaws, we died laughing!

4 yrs old - First day of preschool and what parent wouldn't be proud as The Boy proclaims that he can pee the furthest of all the boys in his class.  I still feel I should have tipped the school janitor as I'm sure he probably earned it that day!

5 yrs old - Still in preschool, The Boy announces on the way home that he and a girl in his class played in the "Tunnel of Love" during recess.  While asking what the "Tunnel of Love" was I found out that they were kissing in the little tunnel under the playground slide... and there was tongue involved.  The school said they never thought they'd have to monitor the preschoolers for public displays of affection!

9 yrs old - The Boy and my roommate decided after watching a magic show on TV to play "Escape Artist".  Just a word to the wise... There's a reason for the "DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME" warnings!  I get a call at work from The Boy who trys to stammer through his version of "Houston, We have a problem." while my roommate is frantically yelling in the background... "Hold the phone over here!  Don't hang up!  Honey, can you here me?  Help!".  Seems she, in a moment of absolute brilliance, decided to let him tie her up and show him how to do a proper escape.  Unfortunately for her, he's good with knots.  So good, he couldn't get it untied either after she'd pulled the knots tighter trying to wiggle out.  The definition of embarrassment... Having to explain to your boss that you need to leave early because your roommate is tied up at home and you have to go cut her loose.

I'm almost through embarrassing him for the day, but I just have to jump to high school and share a couple from marching band....

During band practice, you'll often find the director perched high up in the band tower scrutinizing the drill with an eagle eye.  (I've actually heard him on many occasion ask a student to move "an inch" in one direction or another!)  One day The Boy was obviously not marching well for I kept hearing his name called out over the speaker.  Finally in exasperation, the director yells "Boy!... Why are you always either a step too close or a step too far away from James?!?".  The Boy immediately yelled back to the heights.... "We have an on-again, off-again relationship, Sir!"  Amidst muffled snickers on the field, a click could be heard as the director turned off his microphone for a personal moment of silence.

Amazingly, The Boy is part rubber-band, springing right back into his original form, as we learned during a band contest his Sophomore year.  During the band's show, what should happen to catch my eye but a sousaphone (marching tuba) biting the dust.  "Tuba down!" I gasped in a whisper to G-Ma. "Where?", she asked.  Amazingly, no one else actually saw the incident!  The Boy had bounced back up, literally, while wearing a 70 lb instrument.  Several people did see the infamous "Shoe Dance" that followed however, and it is captured for eternity in video as a colorguard gracefully sweeps the offending footwear off the astroturf... passing it from hand to hand as though she had practiced the routine many times with this prop... to finally place it on the sidelines as she spun by.  A few days later, a friend sent me the following photo that she just happened to snap at the exact moment he fell.  She calls it "Face Plant at the 43".  I've blown up the point of interest for you as it's hard to locate otherwise.  FYI.. They won the contest hands-down... trippin' tuba and all.

     (Click on photo to enlarge)
 Happy Birthday, Boy!  Even though we butt heads occasionally, I can't imagine my life without you in it.  Wouldn't have traded the past 18 years for anything in the world.  Love you... proud of you...

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