Giving Thanks...

T'is the season yet again... and I've been sorely neglecting my duties as a blogger.  Lately I've been receiving some gentle prodding to get back to writing... yes, you!  I really have missed sharing and venting with you all.  Not going to make any promises... but I'll attempt to keep you all updated and amused on a more regular basis from now on.

What I'm thankful for this year...

Becoming an Ex-Smoker... I'm still vaping away on my eCig (electronic cigarette) and loving it.  Finally I can smell / taste / breath again... without hacking up a lung daily.  I haven't felt this good since I was a teenager! 

New Friends and Unexpected Family...  While transitioning from smoking to vaping, I joined a couple of forums... for support and information.  There I found a new online home with some of the most wonderful, caring people I've had the pleasure to meet... I found family.  We all check in on each other... rejoicing in each other's victories, sharing in the sorrows and lightening the load of the daily grind.  A couple of my online friends are getting married next year... Guess who got asked by the groom to be the Best Person... big grin....  I'm going to look good in a tux!

One of my favorite authors, Richard Bach, said it best in his book Illusions - The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah... "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.  Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof."  (More quotes from Richard Bach... If you've never read this one, you really should... it's fun and offers some wonderful insights!  He's best known for writing "Jonathan Livingston Seagull") 

Rediscovering Love... Not only did I find friends and family on the forums... I found a wonderfully, amazing woman to share my life with.  (Now you know why I've been neglecting you all... but I'm sure you understand... don't you...) While our's is still a long distance relationship at this point, we're making plans to change that.  Meanwhile... thank god for unlimited phone plans!  My fondest memory of the year... meeting her for the first time... losing myself in her smile... and realizing just how much I do love her.  (I know... I know... more another time...)

Family... Issues and all... About to undergo a 6 hour round trip to eat Thanksgiving dinner with G-Ma and the Brothers at Shoney's (G-Ma's choice what can I say)... They may be quirky and make you cringe at times, but I love them dearly just the same. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Remember me?

Welcome back, Dear Reader... and my sincere apologies for keeping you waiting.  I've spent the last few days practicing my deep breathing... gathering my courage to jump back into the blogsphere once again.  It's been awhile... so let's catch up some, shall we....

The Boy has gone off to college... about 10 minutes down the road.  He's enjoying his freedom and seems to actually be attending class.  Once a week I get a call asking if I'd like to go to dinner and catch up.  (Translation for the childless:  Feed me and bring cash)  At least he holds up his end of the bargain by regaling me with tales of college life... like how they discovered neither one packed a can opener.  I understand his pool game is improving too.

Brother1 has finally moved out of G-Ma's house.  He was able to obtain a three bedroom goverment subsidized apartment once he convinced his ex to sign papers granting him half custody of his kids.  Since then his kids decided they'd rather not move in, he's lost yet another job, and G-Ma's starting to get concerned that he'll be moving back in before the holidays.  Don't know what he's going to do with the leopard skin couch and matching chair if he loses the place.  Such a shame.

Brother2 recieved a summons the other day naming him in a paternity suit.  He helpfully explained to the officer that maybe they had the wrong person.... after all he has a twin... and a cousin with the same name... and he didn't even recognise the gal's name.  He's since placed a face on the name and is now just keeping his fingers crossed. 

G-Ma has been staying busy between volunteering with the Red Cross, taking Brother1 and kids on vacation, and fumigating her place.  Seems Brother2 found a wonderful used couch for his apartment... infested with bed bugs.  Eventually he brought enough of them over to G-Ma's to start an outpost there.  *shudder*  We've kept visits with G-Ma limited to day-trips lately.  She's making headway against them though... hopefully.

And what of Yours Truely?... well as you'll recall I switched from cigarettes to an electronic cigarette back in Febuary.  Since then I've been quite active in the forum community and helped start an e-cig group in our state.  We get together once or twice a month to visit, share new flavors, and have fun.  Since The Boy has moved out, I've been battling a bit of depression and a slight resergance of agoraphobia.  Makes each of these get togethers it's own little victory.   Meanwhile, some friends have begun fussing at me for being such a "lone wolf".  One buddy of mine recently declared that he'd be my wing man... he's sure his wife won't mind.

That brings you up to speed a bit at least.  Promise we'll chat again real soon, Dear Reader....

Happy Mother's Day!

This year will break a long standing Mother's Day tradition for Yours Truly and The Boy.  For the past ten years we've out for a movie and dinner for Mother's Day.  Today though I volunteered with his high school band to work the concession stands at the local minor league ballpark.  So we'll be spending the majority of our Mother's Day serving up hot dogs and drinks to the locals.  Thankfully it's supposed to be a beautiful day for a ballgame!

While I don't mind giving up my Mother's Day for the cause, I was feeling a little guilty until I found out that G-Ma wasn't going to be home on Mother's Day either.  She's off on her own volunteer adventure with the Red Cross helping out tornado victims.  I completely forgot the time difference there and accidentally woke her up to wish her a Happy Mother's Day this morning.  Felt even worse about the time when she told me they'd given them a half-day off today in celebration.  Sorry, Mom!

I had to send G-Ma a picture of The Boy and the GF all dressed up for their senior prom.  It's hard to believe how quickly time flys when you have a child!  Any mother can tell you to savor all these moments while you can.  The Boy and GF let it drop this weekend that they are considering moving away to a college out of state in a couple of years to support her choice in majors.  Ok... so marine biology is best studied near a body of water, but she could change her plans by then... right?  Guess I'll just have to take a few deep breaths and get ready for that inevitable point when all children develop an autonomous life.  He'll soon be waking me up with a long-distance call just to make sure I know he's thinking of me on Mother's Day.  Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy his company as long as I can.

Off to the park!  Have a glorious Mother's Day however you spend it!

Bad Hair Days

What's the worst haircut or style that you've ever been subjected to?  Did it really seem like a good idea at the time?  Yours Truly has had her share, believe me!  G-Ma loves to pull out a few old pics of me just for a laugh that display some regrettable choices over the years.  I'll admit a 'fro was not the best look for a geeky, teenaged white gal.  Not all of the bad styles were of my choosing though.

I was always a wee too butch for G-Ma's liking. She spent the better part of my early childhood trying to force this tomboy into her feminine ideal of a daughter.  For example, for my first grade photo she insisted on teasing my hair up into an authentic 50's beehive hairdo complete with a little bow.  Remember that style?  If you can tear your eyes away from that billowing mass of hair to look at my face, you can easily tell how thrilled I was.  Jeez!  It was a pink bow too!  The Boy finds this photo particularly hilarious.

A few years later, G-Ma owned a hair salon and wig shop located in an A-framed building that she named "The Wig-Wam".  It was about this time that she decided, after having watched the stylists that worked for her, that it couldn't be that hard.  Why not save some money and cut our hair herself.  I was the lucky guinea pig for this little experiment. 

She happily clipped away, but then noticed that one side was a wee bit shorter then the other.  Oh well, just shorten the other side to match.  Hummm... now that side is too short.  Let's just shorten it up a bit more.... Get the picture?  She finally admitted defeat and called one of the stylists out of desperation.  By that time, my hair was fairly chopped up.  I ended up with the first pixie hairstyle ever seen in that neck of the woods.  Think that Twiggy made the style popular in the sixties.  Now the style is fairly popular with everyone from Ellen to Pink sporting it.  At that time, not so much.  G-Ma has a pic of Yours Truly in full Brownie uniform with that pixie cut barely poking out from under the beanie.  I loved it myself and was sporting a silly grin in the photo.  G-Ma was, of course, suitably embarrassed for us both.

I've been sporting a short, almost pixish style for most of my adult life as well.  Often it's hiden under ballcap.  A great strategy for bad hair days.  The Boy, of course, gets suitably embarrassed for us both when anyone addresses me as "Sir".  Doesn't usually bother me though... unless it's followed by "That's the Women's restroom!"

G-Ma's Journeys

After five years as caregiver to my bed-ridden grandmother, surviving cancer, raising four children, and spending numerous years explaining the concept of self-sufficency to the Brothers; G-Ma has been fullfilling a life-long dream the past couple of years.... as a disaster relief volunteer with the Red Cross.  Everytime she's called the last few weeks, I've had a moment's panic that I'd find out she'd volunteered to go to Haiti.  I'd be a nervous wreck worrying about her if she did considering the conditions in the aftermath of the earthquakes.  Keep in mind that she's almost 70 years old and long past her "roughing it in a tent city" days. 

I mentioned my irrational fear to her the other day only to be told that 1) the Red Cross hadn't sent out a call for volunteers in her area and 2) she was already tentatively scheduled for a mission trip to Haiti in May.... By the way, when's The Boy's graduation date as she may be out of the country if she still plans on joining the group.  After all, conditions should be better there by then, shouldn't they?  *deep, calming breaths.... breath in.... breath out.....*   I swear she's intent on giving me gray hair now too!

Her volunteer trips have been relatively uneventful, other then the occassional traipse through flooded houses to evaluate damages.   There was that time in Texas though.... It was her first trip for the Red Cross as well as her first time flying.  G-Ma had been working with flood victims a few hours south of Houston and was heading back home.  To catch her flight out of Houston, she had to leave before dawn.  She hadn't seen another car for quite awhile when she sees what she takes to be a toll booth up ahead.  Nope, G-Ma discovers it a checkpoint as she pulls to a stop for the Officer.  As he walks around her car, she rolled the window down.... "Morning!  I wonder if you could tell me where I am and how much futher it is to Houston.  I have to catch a flight there this morning."  The Officer replied in a thick accent, "Senorita, you are going the wrong way.  You are in Mexico."  G-Ma was definately awake now!  She must have taken a wrong turn in the dark... she'd never make the flight.... didn't own a passport... What was she going to do!

G-Ma's panic must have been written all over her face as the Officer laughingly waved her fears away... "No, no!  I'm sorry, Ma'am!  You're heading in the right direction.  Houston's about an hour away.  I was just kidding."  I guess checkpoints can get a wee bit boring. 

Since then she's traveled to several other states with the Red Cross and embarked on a short mission trip to Guatamala.  Hopefully she'll listen to reason and not trek off to anywhere too dangerous though.  Don't think I could take the stress.  Sometimes I feel like I'm the parent... waiting up to hear that she's home safe.  Strange how the lines blur over the years.

Atta Boy!

Though Yours Truly is pet-less at this time due to the rules of my current abode, I've owned both dogs and cats over the years, usually raising them together.  Today I thought I'd share with you some tales of my favorite furry friends from years past...

Once while G-Ma was cat-sitting for Yours Truly, she was startled awake during the middle of the night by the sound of her doorbell. Peeking out the small window in the door, as well as through the front curtains, she didn’t see a soul. G-Ma figured that some teenagers were having fun at her expense and went back to bed. About 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang again. This time G-Ma thought she could catch them if she was quick about it, so she rushed to the door and flung it open. Imagine her surprise when there sat my cat on the ledge beside the door. She said that the cat “jumped down to the stoop, and, when I opened the screen door, gave me a piece of his mind as he walked past me…. fussing at me for not letting him in the first time he rang! I didn’t even know the cat was outside!”

G-Ma used to freak out when Midnight and King would start play fighting.  She never got used to watching the huge dog take the entire cat's head in his mouth, shake him around and then toss him aside.  Of course, Midnight loved it!  He'd roll to a stop and be ready to pounce back in a heartbeat.  G-Ma was just sure his neck was going to get broken eventually.  I think it was all part of their plan to entice G-Ma to once again fly out of the house with a broom to stop the fight.  They'd dodge around her with huge grins everytime.

I heard a bunch of dogs barking and growling in the backyard one day.  Reaching the back of the house, I opened the door to find myself face to face with my cat, clinging to the screen door with all his might.  Just behind him on the back porch paced my dog, ferociously daring a large pack of neighborhood canines to step any closer.  It's always good to know that family has your back!

King was a very patient fellow.  He was a mix with the coloration of his German Shepard side and the long-haired size of the Sheepdog side, which gave him the look of a Collie.  G-Ma used to lay a large quilt in the backyard for the Brothers to crawl around on while she was doing yardwork.  She'd lay the twins in the middle of the quilt and call King over.  "Watch the babies", she'd instruct him and off she'd go.  King took this task very seriously.  He'd lay down on the quilt with them, allowing them to crawl over and around him while he watched.... Eventually one of the twins would start crawling toward the edge of the quilt.  King would gently grab hold of the adventurer's diaper and slowly pull him back to the center of the quilt.  The twins loved this and would giggle their delight each time. 

I'd had Cuddles for a few years when The Boy was born.  Needless to say, it took awhile for Cuddles to come to gripes with this annoying, little being I'd brought home.  Cuddles would loudly meow his displeasure at first, but slowly began to be won over.  Cuddle always slept burrowed under the covers with his head resting right beneath my chin.  One night, The Boy was restless and I laid him in bed beside me.  As I lay there on my side with a hand resting over the baby, Cuddles jumped up to lay down.  He promptly burrowed in between us to his usual spot without disturbing The Boy, then gently rested his paw on the baby's side as well.  Being a single parent can have its drawbacks.  I really wish someone else had been present with a camera to capture the serenity of that moment.

Phone Calls from the edge...

lEvery time I hear a "Crazy Frog" ringtone, my stomuch clinches and I have to take a few deep, calming breaths.  You know the tone.... "BaDingDingDing..." annoyingly going on forever! It really only drives me crazy because for some sadistic reason it's the tone assigned to G-Ma on my cell phone.  Yes, I could change the ringer, but then again why not use something that's already annoying rather then spoiling a perfectly good tone?  Just G-Ma's name popping up has the same effect anyway.

Don't get me wrong... I love hearing from G-Ma.  It's just that the resulting need to de-stress afterwards means that time must be planned out accordingly.  A two hour window is the minimum requirement, as a solid hour must be allowed for the call itself.  Accordingly, it's always best if I initiate the call... This allows me to first brew a pot of coffee, locate the asprin (handy in case chest pains or severe migrains occur), run to the corner store for an extra pack of cigarettes, and warn The Boy of the impending call.  Once adequately prepared... little further is required from me.  A simple "Hi, mom.  How're you doing?" is all it takes to start this carny ride.  Throw in a few "um-hummm"s and hold on!!  Commenting... or thinking about it too much... well, to quote Admiral Akbar "It's a trap!"  Though I must admit a lot of it is funny... too much can lead to symptoms strangely resembling a stroke.

"I went over to your brother's the other day.  He hadn't cleaned up the place in days!  You'd be proud of me though. I gave him a good piece of my mind about how he had to do better and the consequences of his behavior.  It only took me 15 minutes to do those dishes!  Why he puts these thing off, I'll never know!.... What are you laughing at?.... What do you mean you'll have to piss me off someday?"

"Your brother calls me all the time!  He'll talk to me driving to work, when he's on his rounds, during his lunch break, driving home.... I swear he must call 20 times a day just to chat!  I can't get anything done for answering the phone!  Why he called me the other day driving home during a terrible snow storm!  Had me so worried that he'd wreck talking on the phone!  Seemed to take forever before he finally got home... talking all the way!... What?... Well I've tried hinting that I'm busy.... Hang up!!  That would just be rude!"

(same brother... different day)  "I haven't heard from your brother all day! I'm convinced something's wrong!  Maybe I should drive over there... or call the hospitals.... I can't call his phone!  He'll think I'm checking up on him!"

"Your brother insists on coming over here to call his ex-wife!  It's so uncomfortable listening to them argue on and on... I've tried to tell his ex how to handle him, but she doesn't listen anymore then he does.... Well, he asks me to stay on the line after I call her for him.... Because she won't answer if she sees his number and he says he wants a witness.  It's more of a control thing really so he can say 'You heard that!'.  Of course I know I should let him handle it on his own.... You know how he gets... One wrong word and he'll argue for hours.... It's easier just to make the call. Otherwise he'll insist that I'm treating him like a child and nothing I say will pacify him!... Well, just wait until The Boy gets older... then you'll understand!"  (Shoot me now!)

"Did I tell you that Brother2 went to court to get a restraining order on his ex?  No?.... well, I went with him... he wouldn't tell me what'd been going on, but obviously she'd come by his place a few times. (his ex lives out of state) She wrote him a letter that he won't let me read.  I was surprised when she and her father both showed up in court.  The Judge was real patient with Brother2.... asking him if his ex had ever threatened him.  He told her (thejudge) that she'd pushed him once.  Eventually the Judge said that she had tried to find a reason to grant the restraining order, but just could find any evidence of abuse.  She asked if he had anything else to add.  The Judge had to call for order when he told her 'Well Judge... She keeps calling me, wanting me to come back... and... well.... I don't want her any more!'  Why even the Court Bailiff had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing!  The Judge did give his ex a lecture though and told her to quit bothering him."

"There was a bottle of peroxide in Brother1's bathroom.  Well, he must have used it all up because there's an economy sized bottle sitting on the floor next to the toilet now.  I asked Brother2 if I could ask a personal question.... Could that he be using that for.... something.... you know.... sexual?.... Why are you laughing?... I don't know what all guys do!.... Anyway, Brother2 suggested it might be for a body piercing that had gotten infected.  No, Brother1's hasn't mentioned a piercing.  So... we looked up body piercing and infections on the internet and Brother2 called a tatoo parlor to ask if someone would use peroxide for that.... You're laughing again!.... Ask him?!?  That would just be too embarrassing..... don't you think?" (Now you know the full story)

"Well, I have to get off here.  How're you all doing?.... That's nice.  Hug The Boy for me.  Love you.. Bye."

Deep, calming breaths.... Time to make that weekly call.  Wish me luck!

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