Even if you're not a fan of the genre, I'm sure you're familiar with that iconic moment in the Exorcist where the little girl's head starts spinnin' round. The effect has been used many times since, but that was the first time we got a look at the actual spin that I've occasionally experienced mentally. Something or someone triggers a personal hot button... and my head starts spinning. Look closely and you might even see steam wafting out my ears. (Warning: This not the moment to ask if I've learned a new magic trick with that cigarette. That would be considered more self-destructive then funny.) Overall I pretty laid back and passive, even according to The Boy. Even I have my buttons though... The Boy just doesn't want to admit he knows where each and every one is hidden! Oh, not all of them lead to such a volcanic reaction. Most are just those really annoying moments that just drive me crazy and start a slow, gradual spin.... Like these....
Once I knew a guy that in talking about his poor test taking ability in school said "I never did well on testes". Thought I would die! Everyone was snickering and the poor guy was really clueless. Being young and thinking to help, I pulled him aside to save him further embarrassment by explaining the difference between "tests" and "testes". He laughed and rejoined the group loudly proclaiming to everyone that I was nuts because I thought "testes" had something to do with a part of his anatomy. Moral of the story... Don't point out the testes.
(ok... either I admit this was my first husband or The Boy has threatened to reveal the fact in an anonymous comment or Tweet. What can I say... I was young and my self-loathing lead to low expectations at that time of my life. It was a short lived marriage that resulted in The Boy, so I'm grateful even though I look back and cringe occasionally.)
I work for an automotive manufacturer and occasionally find myself either driving or riding around the plant in one of those "top secret" new models before the public gets to see them. Once I was riding with an office mate in just such a situation. We were driving through a loading dock area used for both incoming parts and deliveries to our cafeteria. He was talking away and I noticed a bread truck start backing out into our path. Since this was during that frightful time of life that every parent dreads, The Boy's driving lessons, I felt compelled to point out the potential obstacle by calmly stating... "Bread truck". I mean nothing would be more embarrassing then to wreck one of only three such vehicles in existence... right? Wrong! My office mate tells it thusly every chance he gets... "So we driving along when all of a sudden nervous nelly over here yells (picture a grown man dancing from foot to foot, frantically waving his arms over his head) "OMG... Watch out for the BIG ORANGE BREAD TRUCK!!!!" The Boy has heard the full version and was, of course, amused. This story gets told to every visitor that graces our area. Thankfully, we don't receive many visitors or I might have to put our "Violence in the Workplace" training to the test just to save face.
One day recently The Boy and I were running some errands. I pulled into a turn lane and The Boy must have thought for a moment that I didn't notice the other car rapidly approaching. His arm shot up and I heard a sharp intake of breath.... Slowly he lowered his arm when he realized I wasn't going to shoot out into the path of sudden death, turned to me with a sly grin on his face and muttered, "Bread truck".
The Boy is lucky to have you!
ReplyDelete