Don't you dare Tweet that!

The Boy (aka my son) will loudly proclaim "That's going on Twitter!" in the midst of one of my rants.  Sometimes this is met with laughing agreement.... More likely I'm shaking my finger at him with a firm "Don't you dare Tweet that!"  I did allow him to Tweet it when I said... "So, you admit your girlfriend's never been kissed and is into Anime.... At least I know your not going to be a dad anytime soon!"  Below is a random sampling what did and did not make the cut.  What are some of your funny stories that made the cut... or didn't?

- G-Ma on seeing an economy sized bottle of peroxide in Brother1's bathroom asked Brother2... "Could he be using that for... you know... something... sexual?"  (Don't you dare!)


- The Boy declared when he threw out his knee recently during dance auditions for the school play that it was officially a "bar fight" injury from here forth.  The look on the doctor's face when he proclaimed "Bar fight" without a blink was worth the trip!  That is until the Dr. turned to look at me with that "What kind of parent are you?..." gaze.  (Tweeted)

- Yours Truely observed of the hostel I'm booking for our upcoming spring break trip... "Who knows, there may be some hot European chicks.  Also the Cherry Blossom Festival is very popular among the Japanese."  Whereupon the Boy proclaimed "Mom, I already have a Japanese girlfriend!"  (Tweeted)  Well, they have a pool table too!
 
- Brother2 has decided he should apply for disability because his asthma keeps him from working certain jobs.  Geez... I can't fly jets.  Maybe I'm eligible too! (Don't you dare!)

- Brother1 kept insisting on repeatedly getting our attention over the holiday to tell us the temperature in Paris at that moment.  He even felt compelled to wake the Boy up just to relay the information. (Tweeted)

-G-Ma had some peach liquor on her ice cream while we were playing a card game.  She got so distracted trying to pick up her coffee that she laid her cards face up on the table.  She proceeded to laugh at herself until tears rolled down her cheeks.  She finally got winded after 10 mins or so and settled back down.  (Tweeted)  She doesn't handle her liquor well at all!

- Brother2 once decided to entertain everyone during a Christmas get-together by barking "Jingle Bells" loudly to his then-girlfriend who, judging by the high-pitched giggles, was the only person who could truly appreciate his vocal skills.  (Tweeted)

- Brother1 when asked why he lost yet another job... "I had to call in sick again because my legs were asleep."  Really?... Really?  (Don't you dare!)

- Yours Truely's comment that "I've never been fond of parents doing their kids homework, but maybe I should start considering that English grade of yours!"  (Tweeted)

- Brother2 told me that I had to meet his new girlfriend.  When asked how long they'd been together, he replied "We just met today online, but that's Ok."  Loudly starts proclaiming "Good grief!  We have a real relationship!" when I comment on how quickly he's willing to jump into the fray.  (Don't you dare!)

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