Galloping Insanity

My son suggested starting a blog as an alternative to talking to him about all the insanity that comprises my life. Of course, being 18 (almost) the suggestion came out in a more "I really don't care.... Blog it" way. The more I thought about it though, the more I came to realize that he might have something there... whether he meant to really be helpful or not.

Without further ado, welcome reader to the first installation of the "Galloping Insanity" blog! If you're curious about the title, it's based on a quote from one of my favorite movies, "Arsenic and Old Lace". Cary Grant's comment that "Insanity doesn't run in my family... It gallops!" seemed to fit right in.

Cast of Characters (aka "The Family")....

Teenaged Son (aka "the boy") - Tall, handsome young man always ready with a quick quip. Enjoys playing bass in his band, music (read iPod implanted permanently), and texting.

Grandma (aka "G-Ma") - Mid-sixtyish, enabler-extraordinaire. Embodiment of the Einstein's definition of insanity as "Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results". Agrees that she needs to allow the Brothers (see below) to experience the consequences of their decisions and then calls to sheepishly confess to digging one of them out of their latest catastrophe. "I had to buy him another car! If he lost his job, he might have to move back in! I know he didn't pay me back for the last one, but he's promised to work out payments this time. I'll just have to put off getting my teeth fixed a little longer... It doesn't hurt that much."

Twin Younger Brothers (aka "Brother1" & "Brother2") - Mid-thirties twins with... shall we say "challenges" that has left them permanently in a social, emotional mentality of early teen development. Both have to have the last word.... making their frequent confrontations of epic length. They split our father's manic-depression down the middle.... Brother1 is a depressive and Brother2 is a manic.

Brother1 - The depressive. Can be located by the dramatically, loud sigh that accompanies the mention of his name. Despite his somber personality, he often dresses with the flamboyance of a homeless, old queen. (note: he's straight) Case in point.... his outfit for Christmas consisted of bright red pants, bright green shirt, bright green fedora, a red, white, & green striped tie and a walking cane made of a dowel painted like a candy-cane. The outfit was actually fairly toned down for someone who has a leopard-print "smoking jacket" hanging on his bedroom door. He currently resides with G-Ma, but just while he trys to get custody of his two children so that he'll be eligible for a larger government-subsidized apartment when he does move out.

Brother2 - The manic. Can be located by the laughter bordering on hysteria that accompanies anything he says. Fascinated by uniforms, leading to his obsession with security work. Shades of Barney Fife. He's recently divorced (again) and falls into relationships at the drop of a conversation. His latest "girlfriend" according to G-Ma was a "relationship" based on chatting online for less then 30 minutes. His outfit for Christmas.... casual wear topped by a Santa hat and a huge grin.

TWolf (aka "Yours Truly") - Late-40s, single mother. Self-described geek with more of an affinity for computers and sci-fi then people. I grok, fondly remember the days of DOS, and scored a 45.36489% on the InnerGeek Test. I went through two marriages and several years of self-loathing before finally coming out as a lesbian. I'm a conservative, non-rainbow waving sort despite G-Ma's TV driven concerns about my "lifestyle". Said "lifestyle" in recent years consists of working long hours in front of computer screens and supporting my son's activities in both the school marching band and his garage band. G-Ma's seen more action of the last few years then have I. No one escapes my family without their fair share... I've struggled with mild agoraphobia (where thoughts of leaving the house brings on anxiety) and depression for years. The Boy claims I'm also bipolar just because his teenaged ways can make my mode change on a dime, but I'm pretty sure that's normal.