Valentine's From Afar

Happy Valentine's Day, Dear Reader!  Here's hoping that you're having a wonderful time with your significant other... filled with chocolate, roses, and candlelight.  Personally, Yours Truely is hoping for something a little more practical... like a teleportation device. This Valentine's Day My Darlin' is a whopping 750 miles away... and the distance has never felt longer then it does today. 

Ever been in a long distance relationship, Dear Reader?  They are not for the faint of heart, the jealous type, or those who are overly clingy.  Yours Truely has found that it can increase the relationship's depth of communication... but only to the level one commits to really listening to their significant other.  My best advice... Spring for that unlimited phone plan and use it liberally!  Talk... text... flirt... discuss... or just be there in silence with each other... Use the time you're apart physically to foster the friendship and closeness that will provide the foundation for a lifetime. 

This is a time to learn about each other... to find out some of their likes and dislikes... their foibles.  During Christmas, we discussed decorating for the season.  Yours Truely, having been an apartment dweller for over a decade now, has almost gotten out of the habit.  My Darlin' laughed as she exclaimed "You are soooo screwed!" and cheerfully related how she loves to decorate for the season... inside and out.  (Yours Truely secretly misses the ritual and is soooo looking forward to sharing that with her this year.)  We've discussed everything from pets to parenting to politics.  We've surfed the web together... and listened as The Boy serenaded us on his guitar.

Yours Truely enjoys listening in to My Darlin's daily life as well... lurking electronically in the background as My Darlin' welcomes her son home from school, helps with the homework, and yells for him to quit bouncing on the couch.  She's mystified as to why Yours Truely does so, but it's amazing how much you learn about a person from the way they deal with their children.  One cannot keep up any sort of reasonable facade for long around their children... they'll rat you out everytime!  As a parent myself, Yours Truely is able to relate to all the trials and tribulations she's going through too.

A long distance relationship is difficult though. It will test your resolve... your patience... your love.  Still, Yours Truely does not regret a moment of it... and will gladly wait for you, My Darlin'.  After all, when you've been waiting your whole life to find your other half, what's a little longer.

Barbie?... Seriously?

Admittedly, Yours Truely has never been accused of being fashionable... in fact, G-Ma has always cringed at my choice of attire. Part of it stems from my total aversion to shopping. Yours Truely doesn't dislike shopping... but rather abhors it.  Shopping is a necessary evil only.... which produces anxiety and headaches within short order. As has been pointed out many times.... Yours Truely also spends more then needed when shopping by not preforming the ritual known as "shopping around" or "bargain shopping"... *shudder* ... More shopping?... You're kidding, right?

Luckily for me, My Darlin' loves to shop... thankfully she has a Master's in the Art of the Bargain too. Can't tell you how thrilled Yours Truely was when she offered to take over all my shopping needs once she's moved in. "You just need a Personal Shopper", she told me.... "I'd be happy to... ummmm... apply for the position." Dear Reader, let me tell you that was pure music to my ears!  (Especially when she followed it with that cute little giggle... sigh...)

Personal Shopper... just what Yours Truely has always needed... right?... well... maybe...

In a later conversation, My Darlin' started talking about being my "Personal Stylist"... Ok. Yours Truely had to ask... What's the difference between a "Personal Shopper" and a "Personal Stylist"? My Darlin' explained that, in her opinion, a "Personal Shopper" buys what you ask for... whereas a "Personal Stylist" buys what they think you'll look good in.  Uh huh.... Ok.  Yours Truely was ok with this concept until My Darlin' came out with... "It'll be so fun! You'll be like my real live Barbie doll to play dress up with!"

Dear Reader.... can we say "Oh... HELL NO!!"

For those of my Dear Readers who haven't guessed by now... Yours Truely is not the... ummmm... feminine side of this relationship.  My current wardrobe mainly consists of blue jeans, polo shirts and steel toed workboots... Oh, and a ballcap on bad hair days.  Yours Truely is what's commonly described as Butch... albeit of the Soft Butch variety... and gets called "Sir" at least a couple of times a week (occasionally even by my manager).  Never will words like "dainty", "frilly", "girly" or the like come to mind when thinking of me.

My actual response to My Darlin' that fateful day?... "Ummmmm.... Hope that's a Butch Barbie you're thinkin' of, Darlin'!"  I mean Barbie's been almost everything else hasn't she?  Sure enough, Dear Reader, a quick search turned up a few varieties of Barbie all butched out... though I'm not sure they're officially sanctioned.  Who knew... Barbie obviously had a bit of a.... shall we say... experimental phase...

 

Is My Southern Showin'?

Southerners have a way with words.  Dripping with honey... lubricated with sweet tea... drawn out through a velvet drawl... Our vocabulary is as colorful as our heritage and applied with molasses liberally over all we come in contact with.  Only a Southerner can get by with calling both their waitress and their mechanic "Hon" without drawing so much as a raised eyebrow.  "Hon" is just our way of politely acknowledging you.  Yours Truely cannot imagine a day going by without uttering "hon" at least a half dozen times through the course of day.  What else would one say?  "Hey you" is just so common, not to mention rude...

To Yours Truely, however, while "hon" can be applied to anyone from birth to grave.... "darlin'" is reserved for those especially close to your heart... The Boy may occasionally cringe, but receives the coveted term from Yours Truely on a semi-regular basis... at least when he's on good behavior.  The only other person currently eligable for the honor is my girlfriend.  She is my darlin'... a term she hears daily from Yours Truely.  (After all, "Absolutely, Darlin'" and "Yes indeedy, Darlin'" are two terms any Southerner who hopes to keep their gal happy should learn and apply liberally...)

In a recent New Year's post, Yours Truely spoke of the need for a proper pseudonym for my girlfriend... after all, The GF is already in use.  We tossed around a few ideas, including MML for My Main Lady that was suggested by a friend... but nothing felt right to me.  It had to be just right.... she was my darlin' after all... and then the lightbulb went off!  So Dear Reader... without further ado, please allow Yours Truely to introduce... My Darlin'.  (The following has been added to the Cast Of Characters for future generations edification and enlightenment.)

My Darlin' (Yours Truely's girlfriend) - A bubbly, passionate personality equally at home on horseback or poised on high heels.  She's been accused of resembling Sandra Bullock... but Yours Truely see a wee bit of Claudia Christian in her as well.  An animal lover, her household includes... a horse, a bearded lizard, a raccoon, and two dogs.... Oh, and a six year old son.   She's a patient, loving mother... a hard task with any energetic, young child.  Just the sound of her voice lifts Yours Truely's spirits and fills my heart.