Bad Hair Days

What's the worst haircut or style that you've ever been subjected to?  Did it really seem like a good idea at the time?  Yours Truly has had her share, believe me!  G-Ma loves to pull out a few old pics of me just for a laugh that display some regrettable choices over the years.  I'll admit a 'fro was not the best look for a geeky, teenaged white gal.  Not all of the bad styles were of my choosing though.

I was always a wee too butch for G-Ma's liking. She spent the better part of my early childhood trying to force this tomboy into her feminine ideal of a daughter.  For example, for my first grade photo she insisted on teasing my hair up into an authentic 50's beehive hairdo complete with a little bow.  Remember that style?  If you can tear your eyes away from that billowing mass of hair to look at my face, you can easily tell how thrilled I was.  Jeez!  It was a pink bow too!  The Boy finds this photo particularly hilarious.

A few years later, G-Ma owned a hair salon and wig shop located in an A-framed building that she named "The Wig-Wam".  It was about this time that she decided, after having watched the stylists that worked for her, that it couldn't be that hard.  Why not save some money and cut our hair herself.  I was the lucky guinea pig for this little experiment. 

She happily clipped away, but then noticed that one side was a wee bit shorter then the other.  Oh well, just shorten the other side to match.  Hummm... now that side is too short.  Let's just shorten it up a bit more.... Get the picture?  She finally admitted defeat and called one of the stylists out of desperation.  By that time, my hair was fairly chopped up.  I ended up with the first pixie hairstyle ever seen in that neck of the woods.  Think that Twiggy made the style popular in the sixties.  Now the style is fairly popular with everyone from Ellen to Pink sporting it.  At that time, not so much.  G-Ma has a pic of Yours Truly in full Brownie uniform with that pixie cut barely poking out from under the beanie.  I loved it myself and was sporting a silly grin in the photo.  G-Ma was, of course, suitably embarrassed for us both.

I've been sporting a short, almost pixish style for most of my adult life as well.  Often it's hiden under ballcap.  A great strategy for bad hair days.  The Boy, of course, gets suitably embarrassed for us both when anyone addresses me as "Sir".  Doesn't usually bother me though... unless it's followed by "That's the Women's restroom!"

Round 'n Round It Goes...

Even if you're not a fan of the genre, I'm sure you're familiar with that iconic moment in the Exorcist where the little girl's head starts spinnin' round.  The effect has been used many times since, but that was the first time we got a look at the actual spin that I've occasionally experienced mentally.  Something or someone triggers a personal hot button... and my head starts spinning.  Look closely and you might even see steam wafting out my ears.  (Warning: This not the moment to ask if I've learned a new magic trick with that cigarette. That would be considered more self-destructive then funny.) 

Overall I pretty laid back and passive, even according to The Boy.  Even I have my buttons though... The Boy just doesn't want to admit he knows where each and every one is hidden!  Oh, not all of them lead to such a volcanic reaction.  Most are just those really annoying moments that just drive me crazy and start a slow, gradual spin.... Like these....

Once I knew a guy that in talking about his poor test taking ability in school said "I never did well on testes".  Thought I would die!  Everyone was snickering and the poor guy was really clueless.  Being young and thinking to help, I pulled him aside to save him further embarrassment by explaining the difference between "tests" and "testes".  He laughed and rejoined the group loudly proclaiming to everyone that I was nuts because I thought "testes" had something to do with a part of his anatomy.  Moral of the story... Don't point out the testes.
(ok... either I admit this was my first husband or The Boy has threatened to reveal the fact in an anonymous comment or Tweet.  What can I say... I was young and my self-loathing lead to low expectations at that time of my life.  It was a short lived marriage that resulted in The Boy, so I'm grateful even though I look back and cringe occasionally.)

I work for an automotive manufacturer and occasionally find myself either driving or riding around the plant in one of those "top secret" new models before the public gets to see them.  Once I was riding with an office mate in just such a situation.  We were driving through a loading dock area used for both incoming parts and deliveries to our cafeteria.  He was talking away and I noticed a bread truck start backing out into our path.  Since this was during that frightful time of life that every parent dreads, The Boy's driving lessons, I felt compelled to point out the potential obstacle by calmly stating... "Bread truck".  I mean nothing would be more embarrassing then to wreck one of only three such vehicles in existence... right?  Wrong!  My office mate tells it thusly every chance he gets...  "So we driving along when all of a sudden nervous nelly over here yells (picture a grown man dancing from foot to foot, frantically waving his arms over his head) "OMG... Watch out for the BIG ORANGE BREAD TRUCK!!!!"  The Boy has heard the full version and was, of course, amused.  This story gets told to every visitor that graces our area.  Thankfully, we don't receive many visitors or I might have to put our "Violence in the Workplace" training to the test just to save face.

One day recently The Boy and I were running some errands.  I pulled into a turn lane and The Boy must have thought for a moment that I didn't notice the other car  rapidly approaching.  His arm shot up and I heard a sharp intake of breath.... Slowly he lowered his arm when he realized I wasn't going to shoot out into the path of sudden death, turned to me with a sly grin on his face and muttered, "Bread truck".