Life rarely stands still.. but this year has been full of change for Yours Truely. For someone who is much more comfortable on solid land... wallowing in a well-worn rut... it's been a challenge to keep my equilibrium in the midst of the swirling seas.
3 years of spending all my free time working for The Boy's marching band as both a parent and member of the board.... starting and maintaining the website..... setting up a volunteer database.... running fundraisers.... playing band photographer.....
Done and over. Website re-written... database tossed.... no more weekends devoted to band... no trace that I was there....
12 years of The Boy's schooling.... watching him take those first steps away from me into the wider world.... pulling my hair out over last minute projects.... helping him struggling with homework.... cringing at his sometimes embarrassing antics... proudly watching him grow....
Done and over. The Boy graduated.... not with honors... but with his dignity intact and a college acceptance in hand....
18 years of playing mother.... and father... the ultimate dicotomy... either kiss away hurts or tell him to suck it up.... showing him how to do his own laundry and how to throw the football in a tight spiral.... teaching him to hold the door open for others and to stand up for yourself.... advising him on work and on women...
Done and over. The Boy's moved out... stretching out his wings... hesitantly poised on the verge of manhood....
33 years of smoking... sneaking dad's non-filtered Pall Malls cause mom counts hers.... slipping into the restroom of the middle school for a smoke break... loving the habit.... knowing it's killing me... coughing so much it scares me... never wanting to quit....
Done and over. Discovering electronic cigarettes.... finding that I've quit without trying.... breathing easily again...
So many changes. I'll admit I became a bit depressed coping with it all.... my agoraphobia kicked in again as well... but life goes on.... and this too shall pass... is passing. Friends have stepped in, dragging me out of my cacoon, fussing at me about being the lone Wolf for too long. I am working on it... as best I can. Getting used to the empty nest... getting out some.... discovering that I don't want to be alone.... and working on that too.
Change is as inevitable as the wind... blowing through our lives. Hopefully this year's winds of change sail me in a good direction.
I sincerely hope that this year holds wonderful changes for you...
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